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[纯干货]如何在短期内提高雅思写作？
作为一个理性的雅思考试分析者来看，雅思的总分过6.5分，甚至7分并不难，而难点就在于， 在同一场考试中，四门同时过6分，更不用说同时过7分了。（各位是不是都吃过亏）；
第一组：介词短语后面不接动词原形以及完整的句子 1, Talking too much but doing too few gives rise to make others a terrible impression. 正确形式：Talking too much but doing too few gives rise to a terrible impression. 错误解析：因为give rise to 是介词短语，后面是不能接动词的，所以必须要修改为名词形式，直接去掉make others.
2, This above phenomenon can be explained by we change our attitudes towards the lifestyles and by we lose interests on local history of indigenous people. 正确形式：This above phenomenon can be explained by changing attitudes towards the lifestyles and by losing interests on local history of indigenous people. 错误解析：因为by 是介词短语，后面是不能接动词的，所以必须要修改为名词形式或者动名词形式，直接将change 和lose 改为changing 和losing.
3, When it comes to ask the questions about the clear definitions of education and career success. People always hold divergent viewpoints. 正确形式：When it comes to the clear definitions of education and career success, people always hold divergent viewpoints. 错误解析：因为when it comes to是介词短语，后面是不能接动词的，所以必须要修改为名词形式或者动名词形式，直接去掉ask the questions，是多余的成分。另外when 引导的只是一个从句，后面需要真正的主句进行支撑，所以要把people小写。
4, I still fail to pass the IELTS despite I have already collected pencils with 9 kinds of colors. 正确形式：I still fail to pass the IELTS despite pencils with 9 kinds of colors I have collected together. 错误解析：因为despite是介词短语，后面是不能接动词或者句子的，可以将其修改为名词形式或者动名词形式，将句子：I have already collected pencils with 9 kinds of colors. 调整为：pencils with 9 kinds of colors I have collected together.
5， Many fans are crazy about love affairs of Hanhan， a well-known Chinese writer, despite they know that he is a playboy. 正确形式：Many fans are crazy about love affairs of Hanhan，a well-known Chinese writer, despite that they know that he is sometimes a playboy. 错误解析：因为despite是介词短语，后面是不能接动词或者句子的，除了可以将句子修改为名词形式或者动名词形式，也可以将despite 修改为：despite that . 另外韩寒并不是总是playboy,所以加上sometimes.
6, Many students refuse to give up unhealthy lifestyles despite they have understood the negatives of illhealth effects. 正确形式: Many students refuse to give up unhealthy lifestyles despite the negatives of illhealth effects. 错误解析：介词不是连词，一般后面只接名词或者具备名词性质的短语或者带连词的宾语从句，因此不能加句子。常见错误有：”despite,in spite of , during, because of , due to”, 也不能后接动词。
7, Many poor citizens always depend on the rich give support. 正确形式: Many poor citizens always depend on supports of the rich. 错误解析：介词不是连词，一般后面只接名词或者具备名词性质的短语或者带连词的宾语从句。不能接动词或者句子。
8, Life disorder can lead to damage an individual’s health. 错误解析：“to”在某些情况下，（如词组“giverise to , contribute to , pay attention to , conform to , lead to”)都是介词短语+名词或者动名词。
9, Nobody could deny the importance of environment protection , for the simple reason is that it is of far-reaching significance in the future . 正确形式: Nobody could deny the importance of environment protection, for its far-reaching significance in the future. 错误解析：特殊的介词，如：”for， since, after, before”在大部分时候都是介词，不接完整的句子。
10, Individuals have different attitudes towards for the definition of happiness. 正确形式：Individuals have different attitudes towards the definition of happiness. 错误解析：介词后面不能再接介词。注意一些比较特殊的介词如：towards。 介词短语加了句号错误表达： With the society develops. people begin to realize the importance of biological balance. 正确形式：With the development of society, people begin to realize the importance of biological balance.（介词短语不是句子，不能加句号）
第二组一句话不能有2个动词，也不能没有谓语动词。 11，It is advertising makes customers buysomething impulsively. 正确形式：It is advertising that makes customers buy something impulsively. 错误解析：因为 is 和makes 都是动词，所以该句话有2个动词，需要去掉一个动词，本句中可以把makes 前面增加that,这样后面就是定于从句了。从而该句就只有一个动词。
12，There is a research shows thatmany parents are depend on teachers give support. 正确形式：There is a research showing that many parents are depending on teachers who give support. 错误解析：本句的错误太多，主要是谓语动词太多，要记住一个主句只能有一个位于动词，而一个从句也只能有一个谓语动词。而主句中的is和show就是多一个重复了，而从句中：are ,depend, give都是动词，而只能有一个动词。
13，There was a famous Chinesebook describe a monkey , a pig , a sand monk and a true monk go to west forpilgrimage. ,确形式：There was a famous Chinese book describing a monkey , a pig , a sand monk and a true monk go to west for pilgrimage. 错误解析：要记住一个主句只能有一个谓语动词，而一个从句也只能有一个谓语动词。而主句中的was 和describe就是多一个重复了，需要将describe 修改为：describing 作为后置定语。
14，The number of the populationwas decreased in the 1990 to 1995, the figure of population was increased inthe years of 1996 and 2000, the data was then continue increase in the last 5years. 正确形式：The number of the population decreased in the 1990 to 1995, the figure of population increased in the years of 1996 and 2000, and the data was then continuously increasing in the last 5years. 错误解析：要记住一个主句只能有一个谓语动词，而该句中的谓语动词太多，所以需要去掉was 并且将最后一个分句中的was then continue increase 中的continue改成副词continuously, decrease 改成was decreasing.
15，I earned the money is the least. 正确形式：I earned the least money.或者my income was the least.
16，I was a wolf come from Nanjing. 正确形式：I was a wolf coming from Nanjing.
17，Now there are always many new things come out every day. 正确形式：Now there are always many new things coming out every day.
18，谓语动词： 错误表达:There have many people believe that mobile phones are useful. 正确表达：There are many people who believe that mobile phones are useful. 错误解析：（不存在There have的形式，而且There be结构后不能再加谓语动词。）
第三组：逗号不能够连接2个完整的句子 19，There are plenty ofuniversities in China , most of that are not good enough. 正确形式：There are plenty of universities in China , most of which are not good enough. There are plenty of universities in China and most of that are not good enough. / There are plenty of universities in China; most of that are not good enough. /There are plenty of universities in China .Most of which are not good enough. 错误解析： 逗号不能连接2个完整的句子。所以需要将其中一个句子变成从句，或者使用分号或者句号来代替逗号。
20，I cry , you cry. 正确形式：I cry; you cry. / I cry and you cry. / I cry. You cry.
21, We all tried our best,however, we lost the game. 正确形式：We all tried our best. However, we lost the game./ We all tried our best; however, we lost the game. 错误解析：即使是however,也不能连接前后都是完整的句子，因为however是副词，只有and 和but 这2个连接词才可以连接2个完整的句子。
22 China has achieved great prosperity ,however ,its culture suffered a lot. 正确形式：China has achieved great prosperity .However ,its culture suffered a lot./China has achieved great prosperity; however,its culture suffered a lot. 错误解析：注意这点和单独的however, 将一个句子的主语和谓语动词隔开的句子有本质的区别。比如：students, however, always expect their high praise from parents and teachers. 该句中是一个句子，所以可以用however 将主语和谓语分开。
23，They always feel boring about visiting some places where they are no fresh and no extremely attractive talking points， therefore, local museums and historical sites cannot be drawn into much discussion as they are without cartoons, movie stars and sports. 正确形式：They always feel boring about visiting some places where they are no fresh and no extremely attractive talking points.Therefore, local museums and historical sites cannot be drawn into much discussion as they are without cartoons, movie stars and sports. 错误解析： 注意 therefore, on the other hand, on the contrary 这些类似的词组或者副词都是副词成分，并不能连接前后都是完整的句子。所以需要修改为：将逗号改为句号或者分号。
24, Student s are always tired of sitting in the classroom for a whole morning, thus show their resentment with the current teaching method. 正确形式：Student s are always tired of sitting in the classroom for a whole morning, and thus show their resentment with the current teaching method. 错误解析：thus 照样是插入语，是副词成分，不是连接词，所以不能连接前后都是完整的句子。
2， STEP TWO: 当语法没有问题的时候，（260字的大作文+小作文150字）总共语法错误不超过5个，这个要求不高吧？一般是要么错一大片，要么就懂了，然后就好很多。 然后就是要解决另外一个很核心的问题，就是细化思维的问题；
通过细化思维来将题目进行有逻辑的流畅展开，并且的确是展开话题用的，是写作得分的关键。
当考官看到类似，万能开头：With the development of...的时候，想必一定会皱眉头。 “也许只有中国人会用吧。那为什么像类似的开篇：with the development of society and economy, there are more and more//increasing number of //， the topic is a hotly-debated one, which arose our passion towards the…, 然后再写一波大的背景，然后开始写作文切入的话题，这种思路严重破坏了雅思作文的评分标准（CC） 连贯性的问题。所以作文的开篇就必须要是直接切入话题（通过细化思维的描述，然后表明自己的观点即可。）
举例说明如下： 细化思维的训练中文擅长把一个抽象的问题变得更抽象，以大见更大；英文擅长把一个抽象的问题变得具体化
例子一： Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
4.5分的思维： Nowdays (竟然有人少写了个 a) ,with society develops, advertisements plays a more and more important role in modern society.
5.5分的思维： Nowadays, with the development of society and economy, advertisements play a more and more important role in modern society. Some people said they are helpful to give us much information while others do not think so. From my perspective, I think ….
6.5分的思维： Nowadays, there are lots of advertisements on television or on the streets. While someone doubt the usefulness and value of advertisements, I still believe it is a positive trend with overt benefits.
7.5分的思维： Nowadays, there are lots of advertisements on television or on the billboards. Some people think that the advertising boosts the sales of goods and it encourages people to buy things unnecessarily. These arguments may be true. In my country, many advertising companies produce advertisements with famous and popular actors or singers. People, especially youngsters, buy goods that their favorite singer advertise, although they do not really need the products.
8.5分的思维： Nowadays, no matter where you get around in a city or even in the countryside, it is pretty easy for you to find one or two billboards introducing products in the streets. Some people think that advertising boosts the sales of goods and encourages people to buy things they do not necessarily need. This argument contains some truth. In my country, advertising companies often produce advertisements featuring popular actors or singers to induce people, especially youngsters, to acquire goods which their favorite actor or singer seems to endorse, whether they need the products or not..
细化训练（例子二） In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. 4.5---5 分的思维 It is a well-acknowledged that studying is not easy. Along with many benefits also comes negative aspects. We should look at both side before reaching a conclusion about wether working a year bring more benefits or more problems.
5.5—6分的思维 Nowadays, the ways to educate the youth become increasingly significant in such a competitive society. The opinion that teenagers could have a year free from school for traveling and work arouse a heated debate. Although there are both pros and cons for the question, ,my view is that teenagers who are 10 something to 20 something could have their own choice to decide where to learn and how to learn.
6分的思维 It is hard for young people to make the decision on whether they should work or travel before starting university studies. Some consider it is an excellent chance for them to practice themselves while others believe that it will produce adverse effects on their life.
6.5-7分的思维 Thanks to the gap year, nowadays high school graduates can be highly praised by their strong abilities. While many young people are in favor of the attempt, older generation tends to hold conservative attitudes. Personally, I believe different types of media have their respective merits. It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school. The trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel, but is also evident among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent for a period of time.
附上一篇关于考官范文的解析： 第一篇： 抽象类话题分析： 题目：As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work， job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction？How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers？ 题干分析:本题是相对抽象的社会生活类话题，对于中学生以及没有上过班的大学生同学们有一定话题上的陌生感。但是即使是上班的“同志们”就一定觉得题目容易展开吗？是的，中国人的答案在面对这个题目的时候是惊人的相似，可以预见，大家的答案往往是：money, power, promotion。这些对于工作满意度的factors的回答本身是没有问题的，但是难点在于不要忽视了去解释和补充我们“为什么把这些元素”看的比较重的原因。回答的内容本身并不重要，但重要的是如何解释清楚。 Nowadays many adults （直接用adults 是细化思维的体现，不要只是写people,使句子更贴话题） have full-time jobs and the proportion of their lives spent doing such jobs is very high. （首句不要写太长的背景，要从第一句话就开始描述这个话题，而不是“with the development of society and economy , there is a hotly-debated topic about whether or not …这样的套话，是注定让你丢分的，接下来将变成一个考官验证5分或者5.5分的过程。那为什么不能写模板呢？这样的句子本身的质量不是很好？威廉老师告诉你，是因为背景写的太大，紧接着就跳入非常具体的话题，这样严重破坏了作文的CC（连贯性）这一评分标准）。 So feelings about one’s job must reflect how an individual feels about his or her life as a whole， and because of this， job satisfaction is indeed very important for the wellbeing of that person. （顺接的很自然）高手应该做到让段落的内容的话题的范文不要太宽，要尽量克制写很多内容的冲动。你有没有发现，当你从第一句就开始写这个话题，从写成年人的工作对于成年人很重要的前提下，自然就过渡到了“工作满意度“的话题，因为话题窄，所以很容易构成有逻辑）。 Employees get job satisfaction in a number of ways.（罗列式中心句，就表明接下来会有几个具体的方面需要具体展开） Firstly， a person needs to feel that they are doing valued and valuable work， so positive feedback from superiors is very important in this respect. A sense of fulfillment is also（also 体现递进，内在的逻辑） encouraged if a worker feels the job is worth doing because it contributes to the society or the economy as a whole. （先接结果后写原因是高分作文特征之一，这样能有效避免观点跳跃）Secondly， when someone feels they are improving or developing their skills through training opportunities，（很细节，并且符合逻辑的观点，也许没有工作经验的同学不能够想到） for example， then there is a sense of progression and purpose that rewards a worker. The sense of belonging to a team or a working community also（递进词，体现内在的逻辑） contributes to job satisfaction because colleagues help each other to enjoy their working lives.（先写结果，后写原因是高分作文的特征之一）Satisfaction is also increased by a sense of responsibility for and loyalty to a team.
该段落使用罗列式中心句，并且细化思维做的很好。在一个段落中就出现了：“valued and valuable work，positive feedback from superiors，A sense of fulfillment，contributes to the society or the economy，improving or developing their skills，training opportunities，a sense of progression and purpose，sense of belonging to a team or a working community，colleagues help each other，a sense of responsibility for and loyalty to a team 这样的10个对于factors 的具体回答，并且能够有效的能将这些细节名词进行有逻辑的串联的确是高分的作文的体现）所以观点本身并不是最关键的因素，比如中国人通常所认为的：A reasonable income is quite an important contributing factor because some basic survival necessities are highly prices such as housing, cars and dressings and the social welfare system is not fully accomplished. 只要解释充分，话题的答案本身就不是最重要的了。） Of course not everyone enjoys their work. （直接式的中心句，直接对于第二个问题给予回答） Hard economic realities mean that many people have little choice in the kind of job they can get. （进一步解释）In some cases an employee is working in a job that suits neither their skills nor their personality.（分类解释）Some jobs are repetitive and boring，and labor relations may be poor and lead to resentment and insecurity rather than to job satisfaction. （进一步的细化思维） 优秀的英文段落结构就像“瀑布“一样，往细化的方向不断的展开，可以采取分组，解释等方法，先明确的给出”对于问题回答的中心句，即先写中心句，然后进行进一步展开的倒过来的细化展开的方式，而具有讽刺的是，中国学生的答案往往在段落的中间就开始不断的上升话题，从而产生很大的跳跃，习惯于用：which will contribute to …//Ving 上升主题，最终达到联系到了“推动经济发展，维护社会和谐”的最终主题（ drive the economic development and maintain social harmony）,殊不知，这样严重破坏了句子和句子之间的逻辑和连贯度。 However， even though it is unlikely that all workers do feel happy in their work， I think it is not unrealistic to promote more job satisfaction in any job.（典型的批判性思维的让步句型，有承上启下的作用。是8分作文最重要的特征之一，从而使句子衔接变得特别到位） If the factors identified above are implemented， then any job can be improved and more workers can feel greater degrees of job satisfaction. （批判性思维）。 总体点评：这是篇题目本身非常抽象的题目，经过作者的细化思维的一步步展开，让我们对于“工作满意度”这一抽象问题有的较为具体的认识，但更重要的是作者将每一个要展开的分论点都进一步的解释和分析是得到高分最重要的原因。另外最后一段（even though, it is not unrealistic 这样的批判性思维能极大的提高CC连贯度）。
（答主私人微信号:Liweilianlaoshi, 需要转载请联系我稿费事宜，本人长期咨询留学考试辅导和留学申请指导，长期在知乎解答问题）  |
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